Mann oh Mann

11 Free Parenting Resources

2011-05-28T21:47:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge fan of free resources, especially when those resources are geared towards parenting. I need all the help I can get. Below is a small list of free resources I've come across over the last year. Maybe one or two of them will prove helpful to you.

Biblical Parenting Conference : An mp3 download (or listen online) featuring Tedd Tripp, author of the popular parenting book, Shepherding a Child's Heart.

*A tip for listening to these: check out the date the individual audio file was posted and listen in date-order.
Gospel Centered Parenting: This free mp3 download is from C.J. Mahaney, author, retired pastor, and leader of Sovereign Grace Ministries. All the mp3's on this site are free - and it's not just parenting resources, there's lots there.
Parents, Teens, and Reasonable Expectations: This one is also from Sovereign Grace Ministries. No reason to wait til your kiddos are teens to listen in.
Is Mandated Bible Reading Healthy for Kids?: Here's a blog post. Some food for thought...
Free Museum Guide: For fun, a free museum guide for LA.
My Job Chart:A free online chore chart. Especially cool if your kids are old enough to manage the chore chart themselves but it's not necessary.
Kids Fasting Calendar: If your kiddos are Christians, you may want to help them learn some of the basics of fasting. This particular kids fasting calendar happens to be a part of a 21 day fast, but you don't have to abide by that timeline. It's merely some ideas for you... I haven't done anything like this with my kids thus far.
Michael Hyatt's, Creating a Life Plan: For this post, parenting is one aspect of the plan. However, you could take the basic idea and adapt it to be focused only on parenting to help you begin with the end in mind.
4 Free Song Downloads from The Rizers: No better way to memorize scripture than through music and here are some free downloads from Noisetrade.
Google Sky Map: This is an app for your (android) smart phone. My kids love this.

And this last one is not online but a free resource for local folks:

Sandals Church: Starting Sunday June 19th, they'll be doing a six week series during the first service (8:15am) based on the book, Spiritual Parenting. Email summer@sandalschurch.com to register.

What free parenting resource goodness did I miss?

Leading Your Kids to Christ: A Potential Pitfall

2011-02-08T20:25:00.001-08:00

I recently began reading the book Girl Talk by Carolyn Mahaney with my 10 year old daughter. We read a chapter a week, aloud to one another. The book is intended to facilitate conversations between a mom and daughter. I like little helps like this, because there is so much I don't think to talk about on my own.

There are great discussion questions, some of which give opportunities to confess and forgive one another for hurts and others lend themselves to talking about differences and similarities - which K always thinks is comical.

Tonight, for example, I learned that my daughter thinks I treat her like a baby. She's not a kid anymore you know.... cause... she's 10. Which is, in fact, two digits. And so we talked about what more responsibilities would look like, since more freedom is always accompanied with more responsibility. ;)

And then she had other great questions for me like, "Why did God send Jesus to come down as a man to die on the cross, why didn't He just make us perfect?"

Then, in Appendix C, there's this great little section titled, "How to Lead Your Daughter to Christ." I'm sure this section would work for sons as well, but that's not who the book is geared towards.

I thought this such great wisdom, and the pitfall mentioned so common, I'm sharing a snippet:

... Because a mother yearns for her daughter to know Christ, she may mistakenly pin her hopes on the slightest evidence of her daughter's salvation. She might choose to believe that her daughter's praying of the sinner's prayer as a young girl or her profession of faith today confirms that she is a Christian.

However, we must exercise discernment as mothers and avoid giving our daughters a premature assurance of their salvation. It is dangerous to assume that a confession or prayer alone is evidence of God's saving work. The Bible clearly states that we must repent and believe in order to be saved and that the fruit of a godly life will always accompany genuine faith.

Where authentic passion for God is displayed in a young girl's life, along with consistent growth in holiness, there is reason to be encouraged. But if your daughter does not exhibit hunger for God or hatred of sin, [Adding my own caveat here: this does not of course mean hating people who sin. That would actually be quite contrary to a hunger for God.] then you must share with her your concerns. Do not promote a false sense of security regarding the state of her soul, but instead be faithful to remind her of the good news of the gospel and urge her to repent and believe...

Now, if any of you have a tendency toward being extreme like I do, hopefully you didn't read into this you need to be looking for perfection, or near perfection, in your kids. Cause, while awesome, it won't happen this side of heaven, and will just end up stirring up some nasty anger in you. Which is also no good. But you probably know this.

Failure, Community, and Chipotle

2010-12-30T19:58:00.000-08:00

This may have been the hardest year of my life. Even harder than the year my husband left, and I didn't think that could be topped.

I think it was harder, because this year, the failures (yes, that's plural) were solely my own.

2010. Welcome to the beginning of the end of myself.

And I've messed up before, don't get me wrong. 2010 was not the first time I've failed. Even when my husband left, almost 5 years ago now, I knew a piece of that failure was mine to own.

This year, well... this was a whole new thing...

Sometimes, when we fail, we can go apologize, we can do things to make it better. And then there are other times. Other times when repairing is beyond you. You can't go back in time and make things different, make better decisions. Many of us have been there. Many of us will be there very soon.

I was talking with a friend recently about failure, and in an effort to make the pain go away she told me I didn't really fail.

She was trying to be helpful. And she had good intentions.

But the fact is, she was wrong. Failure is real. It's as real as the bed I'm sitting on while typing. It's as real as the Chipotle I'm going to have for dinner... (I just made that decision, just right now.) ; )

And by ignoring it, by pretending it's not there, you miss the beauty that comes from failure. You miss the compassion and grace that grows out of it.

And you miss the beautiful redemption, where God draws you back to him, even when you don't have it in you to run to him. Where he reminds you that's why He sent His son to die on the cross. Because He knew. He knew all along. He knew your soul would be weary. He knew the strength of your heart would fail. He knew.

In the times I was most grieved. In the deepest pain that I managed to not anesthetize away, when I couldn't pick myself up and dust myself off. I am learning, in those moments... I can rejoice. And I do not mean be happy about what's going on. I do not mean, "think positive and it will all go away." The last thing I want to do is make a trite statement about pain. Just like failure, pain is real. And it's valid. What I mean is, out of the core of my being, I can stand on the assurance that Jesus isn't letting me go. That I Will. Not. be taken from his grasp. (John 10:28) That pain is just for a time. That the impurities that have risen to the surface, are revealed because I am loved so deeply and furiously by a God who is not content to let those impurities stay. That my faith, in His eyes, is more precious than gold. (1 Peter 1:7) And He takes that seriously.

And finally, out of godly sorrow that came with a vengeance this year, followed by repentance and confession to friends. I've watched: Transformation. Revelation. Joy. Deeper confidence. And a solid foundation that is less easily shaken.

And it's not over yet. Not even remotely.

For 2011, I want to be around men and women of prayer who have completely failed - and can admit it. No pretenses. Messy community that loves deeply without walls.

And then I want to provide a safe place to land for others, a safe place of growth for those who will fail in 2011.

Course, I'll fall short in this. However in God's grace, and in his gentle molding of my spirit, and out of a reverent fear that he has so graciously helped me begin to understand. I'll be closer to it than I was in 2010.

And that's a good feeling.

She Stood a Little Taller That Day

2010-08-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

Freshmen year, high school history.

Two things I will never forget about this class. First, an embarrassing moment that involved the game of concentration and the word, Nicaragua.

Second, my teacher.

I don't recall much about any of the history I learned in this class. That's not to say, however, I didn't learn. I did. This teacher taught us to think. He often asked open questions that forced us to make educated guesses. He never allowed us to say, "I don't know." And one day, this teacher taught us a lesson I would never forget.

It was fifth period. He brought to class a flat, yet good sized, wooden board. Our teacher, always the unconventional, probed our faces through his round spectacles and asked for a volunteer. Someone who'd like to punch through the board.

Enter into the picture my friend Sarah, weighing in at all of 90 pounds-- as a heavy estimate-- she boldly raised her hand. We looked at the board, we looked at Sarah, and every kid in that classroom had the same look of shock and awe.

This could not actually happen. No. It just couldn't. No way.

While Sarah timidly stood next the teacher, he talked to the class about mindset. He talked about how powerful a thing the mind could be when trained to think beyond the problem at hand. He talked about success and how so often we allow obstacles to be the final say in our lives. Then he turned toward Sarah and began to coach her. He told her not to focus on the board but to focus beyond the board and then told her some practical things too like, how to make a proper fist.

She was nervous, which as a high school freshman meant she laughed a lot. But then, Sarah got serious. Sarah got focused and it was clear to all around her, she was gonna do this thing. She dialed in on her focus point which lay beyond the board, she pulled her fist back and...

Boom.

She punched right through that wooden board.

And we all jumped out of our seats, wild with screaming and applause. She did it. Sarah, timid Sarah, four foot nothin, not even a hundred pounds, did it. She did it!

And that day, we all wished we'd been the ones willing to take the risk...

Weeding

2010-06-23T22:04:00.000-07:00

I like to sit on the large concrete step that creates my front porch. Beyond the porch is grass. And just off to the side, but within arms reach, is a patch of weeds.

It's on this step I sit in conversation with neighbors and while talking, find myself pulling weeds. They're so ugly up close.

When not being pulled out, I water and mow the weeds along with everything else. Walking past, you'd never even know they were there. They're green. They blend in.

I've never planted anything good to replace the weeds I remove. I just keep pulling them out.

It's frustrating though, they come back with greater intensity and tenacity. What once was a little patch is now getting ridiculous.

Each time more and more difficult to remove. Not to mention the energy it takes to keep them 'tempered'. And why is it weeds always grow quicker than the good stuff surrounding them?

Some life metaphors are almost too obvious to point out. That's how I feel about this one. Guess I needed a kindergarten style lesson...

Our 'IM' Convo's at Home

2010-06-16T14:38:00.000-07:00

Pushing Boundaries

2010-06-12T00:14:00.000-07:00

Much can happen to a girl in 8 months.

8 months. Last time I blogged. Is blogging like riding a bike where one can hop back on and it's as if you never left?

I perused some of my past blog posts and memories flooded back. I smiled as I looked back at the journey God brought me through in a small amount of time.

Just 8 months.

One of my last blog posts was about perseverance. Funny. That theme hasn't left. I suppose a lesson on perseverance cannot, by nature of it's name, end quickly.

In that post, I wrote out definitions of the word. I looked these references up again tonight and found something I had missed, dictionary.com's theological definition of perseverance:

Continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

As someone who finds the idea of grace near unbelievable, this statement is as refreshing as a down comforter on a chilly night. And I want to snuggle up in its truth.

I look back at periods in my life where I've thrived. Often times a mitigating factor to these periods was the knowledge I had the favor of a mentor, encouraging friend, or leader. (Understanding also, there is something to be said about being able to thrive without these human confidence boosters.) And I think, if my boundaries could be successfully pushed by an imperfect person's favor on me, then what if I really knew in my heart I am

already living
in a state of grace,
of unmerited favor,
that never ends,
(this is kinda a big deal),
from thee most amazing leader and creative,
who gave Himself to mankind,

how would I be different?

Photo by orphanjones

My Dear Printer

2009-10-13T14:43:00.000-07:00

Anybody out there ever had a printer that didn't have problems?

I'm just wondering.

Cause I've lost hope. I figure this is my new normal. I don't think it matters how much money I spend on a printer. I. Will. Have. Problems. With. It.

We have phones that tell us where we are, manage our finances, and 100,000 other make-your-life-easier apps.

Yet, nary a dependable printer in sight.

Somebody. Tell me there's hope.

Hope for a project without delays. Without paper jams or nozzle head cleaning maintenance.

Cause even when the stars appear to align in my favor. I run out of ink... The paper is out.

My dear printer, your error message, it just may be my demise...

Hi, will you be my ministry?

2009-10-08T21:08:00.000-07:00

Somebody excitedly called me a couple years ago (yeah, a couple years, it stuck with me) and said, "We'd like to make your family our ministry this Christmas season."

And you know what?
I felt pretty lame...
....and really, really small.

Know what else? The girls and I were tremendously blessed through this person. I'm not hating. I realized at the time I had to move my pride out of the way and let someone help. I am still grateful. They did for me what I was unable to do.

Nonetheless, as Christmas is approaching, and we head out to the homeless shelters, etc. (Better yet, go do something nice for someone in October, too.) Please don't make someone feel like they are your ministry. Meet needs? Yes. Shower them with love? Yes. Be a friend? Yes. Disciple them? Yes!

Words, tact, and body language matter. Seems to me there is an air of separation when someone dubs another their ministry or service project.

Here's an interesting perspective....

Photo by Ballistik

Perseverance

2009-10-08T06:37:00.001-07:00

On the road of life, there are detours. Then there are more detours.

So why am I surprised I was handed more information yesterday that may make for, yet again, one more detour?

I'm afraid to even say what happened. I want to be sure this is the last of the sharp lefts or curvy rights, if only for a couple days.

And while I often deal well with change, the word that reverberated through my mind yesterday was perseverence. I ended up looking the word up in dictionary.com, then in my Zondervan's Compact Bible Dictionary.

Perseverance- Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, or a state, especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement.

Pair this with the Bible dictionary's:

Perseverance- (Sidenote. My bible dictionary is now missing. So I'm paraphrasing here.) When the word perseverance is used in the Bible it is used in connection with prayer.

Exactly what I needed to know yesterday. And today too, for that matter. More to come, as this has been quite the week...

Photo by xerezh

How To Avoid Marrying A Jerk

2009-10-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

I'm not entirely sure many single lady's read this blog. However, I'm gonna pass this information on to you married types because chances are, you know someone who is single. And you love them. And you want the best for them.

Plus, you can play the neutral party and say, "I read on some blog somewhere about this one book. And heard it was pretty good or something. And think maybe you should read it." All the while knowing (and trust me on this one) they are going to learn something about themselves that you knew all along... They are making some bad choices. Good people make bad choices. Christians sometimes are the worst. What with all the grace we give to, well... jerks.

Whether or not your friend is divorced or never married, I HIGHLY recommend them read How To Avoid Marrying A Jerk. My counselor recommended I read it. (No, you delightful friends of mine, I'm not getting married.)

It is filled with practical advice, behavior patterns, ways to protect yourself, warning signs, etc.

There was a bonus. I was also able to identify what was going on in some of my friendships through this book. People respond in certain ways to other people. There are reasons for this and it was nice to have words for various behaviors (from myself and others).

So make the world a better place. Keep your friend from being the fool. Pass the word on. ;)

Hey Fall!

2009-10-05T06:50:00.000-07:00

So glad you made it! Have a seat, stay for a while...

Conversations

2009-10-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

Lord, why did I do this yard sale this morning? I hardly made any money. Hardly any people here. I could have gotten work done, could have went and taken care of that smog check for my car, could have.....

If you didn't have that yard sale this morning, you wouldn't have spent all morning in the beautiful weather, wouldn't have poured over that amazing book about me, wouldn't have heard those birds chirping, wouldn't have felt that breeze on your face, wouldn't have relaxed. All those things I know you love. You haven't spent a Saturday morning like that in a long time.

Oh. (smiling)

I almost missed out on the gift he'd given me today.

photo by takomabibelot

I deleted...

2009-10-02T20:24:00.001-07:00

...my last post. However, if you're reading this blog from Bloglines or Google reader... then it is still there. I realize that post made little sense. It was two separate thoughts that I hadn't fleshed out... yada yada yada. My apologies if you stared at your screen in bewilderment. ;)

That's the problem with the internet, once you put something out there... it's out there. ;)

This and THAT

2009-10-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

We all have those sound bites of advice we carry with us from others. They strike us at the time as important, hold a place in our life, then we share the same with our kids. Here's a few of mine:

The food you eat off your kids' plates- those calories don't count. -My mom
Yup. Tried and true. ;)

Never make a decision "on the table." -my Dad
Kept me from signing up for that whole savings-tied-up-in-your-life-insurance-thing.

Always take care of your skin. -my Mom
I could use help on this one from time to time, but my mom has beautiful skin and she's in her 50's.

Always go through your writing and get rid of the extra "that's." -My mom
That's a good thing that my mom told me to do that. I've expanded it to getting rid of all the "anyways" and "just's" I use also.

Don't make any major life changing decisions for a year after a crisis hits. - My neighbor
This one kept me from leaving my church right after divorce.

Love hurts.
-My mom during intense bear hugs. Pretty sure she got this one from Bill Cosby. ;)

Do share some of yours...

Photo by Grzegorz Lobinski

Life and Such

2009-10-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

This is what my life in the future looks like:

Muddled. Unsure. Completely and totally without clarity.
********

Here's the kind of clarity I have for today:

photo by: tipiro

I spend so much time trying to figure out the future when the next step is right in front of me... and all I really need to know. I have a sneaking suspicion all this connecting the dots, rhetoricals, and what have you for my future have taken away far too much time from the beauty of today.

Just enough light for the step I'm on.... right God?

War. Post script

2009-09-30T07:05:00.000-07:00

This afternoon my 9 year old ran up to me excited about a chapter she'd just read in:

Lives of Extraordinary Women: Rulers, Rebels (and What the Neighbors Thought)

I share because it is profoundly apropos on the heels of yesterdays post, War. Her extraordinary woman of choice? Joan of Arc.

K said, "Mom, you've got to read about Joan of Arc. This is an amazing story."

After my heart melted at my daughter's excitement of reading a bibliography. No seriously. She could have asked me for anything in that moment and I woulda done it- I sat down and read.

I've heard a little about Joan of Arc before. Not sure where my mind was during history class, because not a whole lot about her life ever sunk in.

The Story: God gradually showed Joan her call to leave her village and save France from English invaders. By 13 years of age (!), she was absolutely positive of this mission through a voice that was accompanied by a blaze of light. She heard the one voice at first, and later on, history tells us she believed she discerned three different voices, who she identified as St. Michael, St. Margaret, and St. Catherine.

At the time of this voice, she was kneeling in the prayer garden, a place she could be found daily. However, she didn't leave right away on her mission because her father wouldn't allow it. Then, at 16, she left under the cover of night, and quickly thereafter convinced French authorities she was appointed to lead France to victory. Once leading, the book says:

It seemed as though Joan had been studying battles for twenty or thirty years. She used military strategies not common until centuries after her lifetime. Her army scored one remarkable victory after another...

Keep in mind, Joan did not know how to read or write. She grew up on a farm and learned everything she knew from her mother.

In a turn of events, Joan was captured and burned at the stake. She was 19. She did not lead France to ultimate victory, although she was well on her way there when she was captured 22 years later, France did finally defeat the English forever.

Other notable mentions about Joan:

Was known to personally console English soldiers as they lay dying.
Only killed others in self defense.
Because of her courage and ability to remain on the battlefield though wounded many times, her soldiers accepted her as a leader.
Known for her unselfish generosity. (Giving up her bed for others to sleep on....)

Was she crazy? Hallucinations? Or was she truly being driven by God?

Truth is, I don't know. I guess what I like about her story is that it's not perfect. And I'm left with questions.

How this story has encouraged me (even if she is crazy). ;)

God uses our children.
Be bold in faith.
Lead through serving, generosity, humility, self-sacrifice... I could go on.
God is teaching me perseverence both personally and through my role as a parent. Now Joan was a woman who persevered through disciplines. She could be found kneeling in the prayer garden every day. No doubt this would have been the foundation to her unmatched courage and sheer boldness.

And again, I'm reminded.... we're at war. These trivial areas I know I've got to follow through with seem small, but they aren't. They are the foundation to small lives which are I pray are self-sacrificing to a God who is good.

***Wow, this is long. I guess this is what happens when I don't post in months. Hats off to you if ya read all the way through.

picture by pwbaker

War.

2009-09-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

I like simple. I've always said that. THEN God actually calls me to be simple. And I realize I don't really like it. I just like the sound of it.

Kinda like wine. I don't care for the taste. Yet the sound of it with dinner waxes eloquence.

John Piper says, We are not called to a life of simplicity, but of war.

There's nothing wrong with simplicity. It's just... there's more. Yes, live simply. But live simply so you can be used in war. How successful would a soldier be if he were to carry 5 times his load?
My first reaction is always dramatic:
"Send me overseas, Lord," or "I will save the western hemisphere today, just show me how."
But no, that's not my role He says. Not now anyway. ;)
Today, my part in the war is fighting FOR my kids.

I follow through, so they learn perseverance.
I often pray aloud, so they see the fruits of faith.
I sacrifice, so they see a servant.
I love them, so they know they are valued.
I discipline, so they feel safe in boundaries.
... and I read them the same book over and over when I'm tired, just cause..

And at every possible chance I have, I pray I show them the character traits of God.

Cause it's just as important what you take out of their lives, as what you put in.

Man, I gotta long way to go....

picture by ontwerppus

If You Need a Good Laugh...

2009-06-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

My All-Time favorite blog post EVAH!

I laughed so hard I cried. Manaffection Esssentials

I'm Soo Gonna Try This...

2009-06-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Things I Don't Like About Being a Single Mom

2009-06-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

... and some advice-y sounding thoughts which are really just notes-to-self.

1. Father's Day
Have your kids do something nice for whatever male figure is in their life. Or send a card to a soldier. Or have a heart to heart about what a jerk their... KIDDING. I kid. I kid.

2. Your kids have questions that are really hard to answer.
You're washing dishes and your kid says something that stops you dead in your tracks. Like, "How come so-and-so's Dad (fill in the blank)." It's these questions/ comments that drive me to pray-- beg really, for wisdom.

3. Mother's Day
Yeah, I dunno. I didn't do this one so gracefully this year...

4. Needing childcare for everything.
This one is, by far, the most cumbersome...

5. The statistics are largely against you when it comes to your kids.
Number 5 - not a fan. We'll know in about 10-15 years how successful I was/am on combating the statistics... And yes, again --pray.

6. You don't get invited places with other couples... cause it's awkward.
Unfortunately, you're gonna have to be proactive on this (specifically if your kids will be invited along) and eat it so your kids are around other two-parent families. Cause it's not about you.

7. Going to church alone.
You'd think I'd get used to this after three years. Nope. I just made it my new, personal, totally informal ministry to go sit with people who are alone and introduce myself-- maybe it's what that other person needed...? Either that, or invite someone who doesn't go to church to come and sit with me...

8. Stereotypes
I realize it doesn't matter who you are, you fit into some type of stereotype. Not me -- you. *wink*

9. Money
Dude. Don't go do something dumb to try and fix this one...

10. Car Repairs
blech. Still don't have a solution for this.

I'm of the mind that the majority of issues single moms have are not because she's a single mom. It's because she's a she. Same feelings. Different situation. Nonetheless, there are obstacles that can make daily life extra difficult . Part of me is grateful I am in a place where I have to depend on people around me. Part of me hates I am in a place where I have to depend on people around me.

And really, married or not, I always needed others - I'm just more aware of it now.

Sigh.

A Litmus Test

2009-06-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

Photo by Pink Sherbet - not my kiddo. I don't post pics of them here.

Below is a post from Mark Batterson's blog. Author of Wild Goose Chase. (So recommend!) Felt like this was important enough to pass on...

Had a great conversation with John and Laura Crosby yesterday. John pastors Christ Presbyterian Church in Edina, Minnesota. He said something I had to share: one of the best litmus tests of a person is how they treat your children when you're not around. Man, that is so true. If you love my children I love you. It's that simple. On an even broader scale, who you are around children is who you really are.

Project X: Closing

2009-06-05T18:11:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have been reading here a while you are aware of Project X and what that was all about.

I've come across obstacles, to say the least. I'm not surprised. Obstacles were and are ALWAYS expected when you venture to go against the grain. However, the personal nature of the obstacles have kept me from blogging about it. (Personal not just to me, but to others- making it not shareable.) Hence the silence.

Not sure if anybody was reading specifically for those updates, but if you were, I am truly sorry. For those of you whose comments were, quite frankly, much better than my posts themselves, thank you. I cherish your wisdom and insight. I hope you'll stick around. And in case you're wondering - I haven't given up, just won't be seeing it on the blog.

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead you anywhere. Frank A. Clark

Photo by Indiewench

Looking Glass Lane

2009-05-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

There are some stellar ladies over at Looking Glass Lane-- go check them out and see for yourself. So stellar, in fact, that I couldn't resist their call to write my own dossier. Check out this comment from Miss Ive and then tell me you could resist her cleverly crafted call to action! So here goes...

April.

Dossier: n. A collection of documents about a particular person, event, or subject.

Looking Glass Powers:
The ability to be unabashedly optimistic in most all circumstances. She once thought this to be a fault. And is now glad for it as it has provided an avenue through the mire on many occasions.
The ability to correctly wield power tools. Presumably in a skirt. She is sometimes (often) lost in thought or so focused on task at hand and forgets practical things, like -- changing into "play" clothes.
The ability to eat soups in the summer. Salads in the winter. Look deeply - You'll see this says a lot about her.
The ability for brevity. In fact, it's more than an ability, it's like her code. Signature if you will. (This post is likely breaking that code. But she finds allowing exceptions to the rules to be... well... a rule.)

Dress-Up Closet

Has taken a beating. Her dress-up closet appears to now be a dress-down closet. She cannot elucidate anymore on this subject as it pains her to talk about it.

Disguise

Her 'Shell' lipstick. She is sure she can leap the tallest towers once donned. In fact, it is so potent, she keeps the wearing of it - minimal at best.

Go-To Gadget

Her phone and journal. Both for obvious reasons. Both because she likes to communicate but not everything can be- well... said aloud.

Vice

Chocolate chip cookies. Must be correct softness, chewiness, to pass the "it's worth the vice" test.

Magic Potion

Skinny vanilla latte. One, because, in her mind, it makes up for the vice above. Two, because Starbucks changed the name to "skinny latte" so she no longer has to ask for a non-fat, sugar-free vanilla latte, no whip and suffer through the rolled eyes and 'why bothers?' And three. There is no three. Just thought there should be a three for balance.

Battery-Recharge Hub

By herself with a book. Be it at a coffee shop, bookstore, or curled up at home. Don't put it past her to have 3-4 books going at a time.

Owner's Manual

Her Bible. She hasn't been able to find wisdom from the ages, narratives of lives who inspire her, or poetry that sharpens her in such a way anywhere else -- all with seeming ability to change her perspective with each read.

Weapon

As a former server, her weapon of choice was to 'kill em with kindness.' She hasn't found any suitable replacements so this continues to be her mode d' emploi to this day.

How she gets to the Lane

Her small size SUV does the job on most days. When doubting the dexterity of her vehicle, she will take to walking to the Lane.

Secret Ambition

To sell everything she has and travel the world. Learn about other people and cultures.

~~~~~
Go on now friends... would love to see you write one. ;)

Photo by Sarah G

Thought I'd point out...

2009-05-23T16:25:00.000-07:00

...that my brother just ranked 29 on Disneyland's BuzzLightYear ride. That's right suckas... 29!! How 'bout them apples? (Nevermind the fact I didn't even rank...)

Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me... Guess I'll Go Eat Worms

2009-05-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

What is it with us, ladies?
I mean really.
And it starts early.
Here's what I'm referring to: My 9 year old came home today upset because one girl at school doesn't like her. She decided that meant nobody likes her... We discussed her blanket statement of, "Nobody likes me" and battled that statement with truth. K came to the conclusion she is aware lots of people like her, she explained she just doesn't feel that way today.
Yeah...I've been there.
Ahh, perspective.
And unspoken expectations.

Nuff said?

Shopping

2009-05-19T09:16:00.001-07:00

Went to go look for a new Bible the other day.
This is a big decision you know.
One has to take into account paper weight.
Check out the concordance.
Usability and floppiness.
Leather bound?
Which version?
Study Bible? Pocket size? How BIG is too BIG?
It's all so overwhelming.

So I left without a new Bible.
Just couldn't commit...

Photo by Helga's Lobster Stew

Life

2009-05-18T22:36:00.000-07:00

We should be "...pouring out our heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lifting up our hands to him for the lives of our children." -Lamentations 2:19

What are some things you are praying for the lives of your children?

I came across this in Jeremiah the other day... [Note: It's been personalized- I do that.]

God, Give K and little K shepherds after your own heart, who will lead my girls with knowledge and understanding. -Jeremiah 3:15

I'm trying to be one of those shepherds. Nevertheless, notice shepherds is plural...

...Cause it takes a village.

Picture by Hamed Saber

I'm Almost Super Mom

2009-05-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Really... only slightly off the mark.

[Ah hem.]

Now for truth: The past three months have been stressful. To say the least. I have fallen behind in life. There's only a vague shadow left of the order that was in my home - even a mere couple months ago. Largely because I'm adjusting to new life responsibilities and other emotional blah, blah blah. I am no good without order... just ask my kids. (On second thought, uh, -- don't ask 'em.)

Not so fun.

I need help.

Yup. I do. I need help.

Anybody else cringe having to say/ write those words? The worst I tell ya. Soo, yeah. I'm hoping that some of you will come help a girl out. Anyway, here it is. A bunch of 'whatnot' around my house.

Under my kitchen sink - small plumbing issue. Seriously, it's small. Just a matter of changing out a piece or two. No digging or going behind walls. Unfortunately, in my attempt to change it myself, I tightened the piece so tightly, I can't undo it. I know what's going to happen- someone will come along and exert almost no pressure and fix the problem.
Two drawer fronts in my kitchen have fallen off. (Thanks to K and lil K.)
Help me organize my office? Or my girls room?
Slightly bigger request: Front and back porch lights aren't working. And yes, I've changed the lightbulb. If anybody is handy with electrical, I was hoping you could take a look and at least be able to tell me the scope of the problem. Big deal? Or easy to fix?
I gotta do some caulking in bathrooms.
Spring cleaning type stuff -- like, windows. (I know, we all dread it.)
I want to try and cleverly replace some of the linoleum in the kitchen. It's one big sheet - so this may not work. I'm thinking we can be clever and work something out.

Much of this list, I'm capable of doing myself. In fact, that knowledge is the very thing that has kept me from asking for help. My head thoughts: What's my problem? I can do these things. Don't be lame.

Even if you are unable, then come hang out with me while I do them. ;) Good conversation fuels me. ;)

AND, I'm totally good for returning the favor. There you have it.

Picture by Rabeea Arif

POST

2009-05-03T06:16:00.000-07:00

I got this comment on my blog last night...

tesberi said...

POST.

May 2, 2009 10:32 PM

I kinda feel like I'm being yelled at - with all those caps. But look at me being obedient... POSTing and all. Cause tesberi (Tess Berry) is my neighbor, and she's bigger than me (HA!) and is better at poker.

Incidentally, I've been missing my blog. It has nothing to do with the fact she TOLD me to post. It's cause I want to. (Double HA!) Really. You believe me, right?

Photo by shinealight

Hard to know where to start... Here's a few snapshots from my month:

Saw Franchis Chan speak at Catalyst West. That man has a way of drawing people back to the Word. I haven't been able to get out of the book of Acts since I listened to him speak.
Read a book called Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna. The revolutionary idea here, is to spend lots of time (quality & quantity) with your kids. Hoping this isn't new information...
The company I work for, 360hubs, launched a new company... Twubs.com. It's a groups tool for twitter. Check it out. When you get there, throw in a search term from twitter, like #sandalschurch or #mom or a movie you want to check out - and see what comes up...

Been entrenched in marketing -- and loving every bit of it.

Summer is only a month away... Can you believe it?

Anybody still there?

Birthday 9 x's

2009-03-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

My daughter is nine.
She's, like, nine.
That's halfway to eighteen.
I mean... she's nine.
I'm not sure how this happened.
Father Time is goin' down yo.

Routine

2009-03-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

Every so often, one must change up their routine. Wouldn't you agree? This goes for spiritual disciplines, monotonous daily chores, one's job... and for me - homeschool.

Every year, in March, homeschool becomes the absolutely worst for me! Absolute worst. Drudgery is a word that comes to mind.

And so...

I am changing up the routine for my sanity. After all, there's no sense in getting rid of something (in this case homeschool) because the monotony of the routine has got ya down-- when the reasons behind the routine still hold true.

For the month of March, I've been reading aloud to my kids over breakfast. We just finished, Cricket in Times Square, and this morning began, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane.

This has become a routine I hope sticks around. My favorite is to put the book down just before an obvious exciting event, yawn, and say...

Okay girls, we'll read what happens tomorrow...

And in cliche 'after-school special' style they yell, "No, Mom! Keep reading."

And I kindly oblige.

Picture courtesy of Tom@HK from Flickr's Creative Commons...

Reminiscing

2009-03-07T08:07:00.001-08:00

Above: Corrina, Crista, April, Alana

My 11 year reunion is in a couple months. It's caused me to do a little reminiscing. I tend to think I don't age... and then I look at a picture from 11 years ago and realize my skewed self perception... :)

I'm the second one from the right.

The four of us above were inseparable our senior year of high school... so many good memories.

I had a mild obsession with Levi's 501 jeans -- til I was introduced to my first pair of Lucky Jeans my senior year... paid $58.00 for those babies. (AND I worked as a hostess at Claim Jumper, so that was like, what... NINE hours of work?)

Bought my first car when I was 17, a Ford Escort Hatchback. I remember Kelly Silver telling me my car, "Looked like me." What the heck was that supposed to mean? The car is practical and so am I? The car is lame and so am I? The car is small and so am I? I didn't even really know Kelly Silver.

The four of us girls went through a Swingers stage (pretty sure I was never allowed to watch that movie) to which we said things like, "You're so money." and "Vegas baby, Vegas."

The pineapple I'm holding was from my Dad who sent Crista and me to Hawaii for our senior trip. I actually had two senior trips. I also went to Puerto Vallarta with my senior class. WARNING friends!!! Don't EVER let your kids go on a senior class trip to another country. (And mom... uh... nevermind.)

On the Road to Hana in Maui:

My friend Erin and I parasailing in Puerta Vallarta:

We also prided ourselves on going to random hole in the wall restaurants near the beach. Our fav was Senor Pedros in San Juan. Wonder if that's still there?

Well... thanks guys for walking down memory lane with me. I'm a little weepy now. Think I'm gonna go make some memories with my kids today. Peace.

(No) Vacancy

2009-03-06T06:35:00.000-08:00

Every now and again, I take a step back from blogging... but I always return. Funny thing, the internet is always still here when I get back.

In the meantime, I've been looking at lots of viral videos and what not... trying to educate myself for my job... Enjoy.

Project X: Update

2009-02-26T21:01:00.000-08:00

First Off: I really don't like my title....

But anyway... here's a long overdue update:

I hadn't shared this yet... prior to my first post of Project X, one of our favorite neighbors made the decision to follow God. Watching her grow these past few weeks has been amazing. For example, she recently said she wanted to get out and start volunteering somewhere so she can get out of her own head. {For real!? I love this girl.}

We asked and prayed God would increase the laborers AND he has through two friends who live two streets over who've agreed to host/lead a Bible study this summer with me. We'll be including a few neighbors from my street and theirs.

I didn't do anything for Valentines. Totally bummed. You guys had great ideas for it. (Far beyond anything I would have come up with.) My kids decided to take turns with the stomach flu. (The nerve.) So that was that. :(

One particular woman has really stood out to me. I believe God is showing me she believes she is Christian -- yet has never made a sound decision to follow Christ. Pray truth would reign in her heart.

My neighbor and I strongly believe God is moving. We both see it. Her and her husband have had multiple conversations with friends (neighbors) about the gospel and I find I'm growing in boldness. Or maybe it's not so much of boldness as it's: I have become scared to death about not being obedient. Also, sadly, new to me. (And I'm talking about a healthy kinda scare here.) :) Granted, this STILL doesn't mean I'm always obedient...

As I'm typing this, I'm listening to live streaming video of a tweet-up for The Idea Camp. (Basically just listening to people discussing cool stuff.) I just heard... "The future is looking messy." Yeah... this resonates.

I've been feeling a little weird about blogging about this whole neighborhood thing and I'm conflicted. SO, with that -- well, I guess I don't have a concluding thought for that...

I could, however, really use some prayer.

Picture by Indiewench from Flickr's Creative Commons

Try This...

2009-02-25T15:29:00.000-08:00

When you pray for your kids... try asking that the hidden things be revealed...

I pray this for my kids.

And oh the stories I could share. Ohhhh, the things I've learned...

How do you pray for your kids?

Awkward Much?

2009-02-21T13:31:00.000-08:00

Can't help but share this forward I received from Angel this morning...Here's the letter that was sent to the teacher the next day...

Dear Mrs. Jones*,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Thank you,

Mrs. Smith*

Gossip

2009-02-18T19:30:00.000-08:00

A recent conversation with a friend gave me insight I wish I'd had two weeks ago (scratch that - more like 10 years ago). It would have saved me from some recent heartache. Every ounce of pain I've experienced in the past couple of weeks has been self-inflicted. I've asked forgiveness from the recent people I've wronged (unfortunately there were more than one). The problem is, damage has already been done that can't be undone...

This is a little story about gossip.

Now of course I'm not going to tell you the whole story. Because, well, that would be gossip...

But I've wrestled with this term--gossip. I've heard people say it's not gossip as long as it's not slanderous-- it's okay to share as long as what you're sharing is truth. This morning one friend said she was told by a leader that whether or not something was gossip depended on whether or not your heart was in the right place.

I respectfully disagree.

There are unfortunately two occasions in the past two weeks where I shared information about others, and both times I believed I did have the right heart and actually thought I was doing the right thing -- sharing because the person needed to know the information. Unfortunately, even with my heart being in the right place I either:

Unnecessarily hurt the person's feelings of whom I shared about or

Skewed the perception of the person I shared about in the eyes of the person I spoke to. (Does that make sense?)

So what do you think of this phrase,

I need to have somebody to bounce my thoughts off of.

Unless we're talking about sharing parenting ideas or practical problem solving or issues related solely to ourselves, I am coming to believe this phrase is treading dangerous waters...

I recognize there are certain times when sharing 'up' is necessary. A spiritual authority needs to be alerted as to what is going on. If the person we are sharing with is not a spiritual authority... then are we moving outside of the boundaries God has set up for us? As bureaucratic as it feels at times -- if God has set up an authority over a person's life, and we go outside of that -- are we essentially working against God?

Stay with me here. I haven't fully developed all these thoughts... I'm wondering if we are really entitled to have someone to bounce our thoughts off of? It certainly is nice to have that person -- if so, I think they ought not know the person being talked about (nor any possibility of ever knowing!) Does God guarantee us this? Why has that become the 'MO' in our Christian culture?

Included in this discussion is the ever-pervasive church discussion and talk about how things are being run or this or that. I know I'm guilty of validating others' complaints and rolling my eyes in agreement. I'm sorry about this. It's wrong. In the midst of that validation is agreement with divisiveness. Mind you -- I have no intentions of division within the church!!! But I think this is where it begins- amidst the small rumblings and murmurs.

It's funny, the scripture I'm having K memorize is... "Do all things without grumbling or questioning, children of God, without blemish in the midst of crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world." Philippians 12:14

What if we all backed our church 100% and when a valid complaint arises we went straight to the source in question? What kind of a united front would we have? What would that kind of uniting in love look like to outsiders? What kind of a powerful force could we have in our communities? Our city?

Sadly the soapbox I'm standing on has been marred by my own ugly contributions in this area... Cautiously stepping down now.

Photo compliments of cwbuecheler.

Econmommy

2009-02-17T08:41:00.000-08:00

Meet EconMommy.

She can wax eloquent.

She brings some serious authenticity to her posts. Most recently, her and her husband decided to grow their family a bit unconventionally -- through adopting a little girl who is living in the system.

I can't help but be reminded of a quote I heard last night at Mariner's Church...

Without sacrifice, love is nothing more than words. - Shaun Groves

I hope you will go check her out.

Addendum

2009-02-13T13:31:00.000-08:00

I feel like that last post is hard to read... a rambling of sorts.

I'm sorry.

I don't exactly want to delete it--- but I want to apologize because it was, well, 1:00 in the morning.

We all have those moments, I suppose.

Project X: "Pray" the Hand You're Dealt

2009-02-13T01:02:00.000-08:00

It's 1:00 in the morning. My bedtime is, like 8:30. (No sarcasm there...) And 5am is going to come quick.... four hours to be exact. I can't sleep. I'm far too excited.

Here's why:

In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. -Ephesians 3:12
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. -Ephesians 3:20
Oh woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire. -Matthew 15:28
Everything is possible to the one who believes. -Mark 9:23

I came across each and every one of these scriptures in my reading tonight.

Question: Do you see the theme?

Alright, I'll answer. I can't wait for ya'all anyway. You won't be awake for another good five hours or so. The theme is faith and belief, and through these things -- God does more than I could even imagine. And I have a good imagination!

Do you know what my fear has been all day? This is probably going to sound weird. But again, it's 1:00 in the AM... and imperviousness to vulnerability is not my strong suit at such an hour. My fear has been that I need to stop asking God for the things I've been asking Him for because my focus is on the answered prayer rather than the One I'm praying to.

Why was my solution to stop praying? My solution should have been (and is now) to put the focus back where it needs to be. God pretty clearly realigned me tonight, I need to be using my faith for others, to pray for others. And right now, I'm praying for this street.

Besides, prayer had better be the biggest investment of our time...

And to think. I almost stopped praying for these fellow broken people on my street. Please pray for me. Right now. And confidently! See what a wretch I am?

For other related posts, click here and here.

Picture by Indiewench from Flickr's Creative Commons

Awww Man(n)

2009-02-11T07:46:00.000-08:00

Now the oldest is sick.

Good grief.

Bible Bee

2009-02-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

I'm not one for rote memorization without meaning. I typically shy away from contests. (It's that harmony strengths quest strength of mine.) AND I think the logo to the left is lame.

All reasons why I would normally scoff away the opportunity for my daughter to compete in The Bible Bee. Yet here I sit, intrigued, contemplating it. I'm grappling with the fact, my own lack of Bible memorization has been a handicap. I joke around that I am a FABULOUS paraphraser. This scripture comes to mind (which I had to look up because I knew it was something along the lines of writing something or other on the tablet of our hearts... and I knew it was somewhere in the beginning of Proverbs...) ::

My son do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. -Proverbs 3:1-4

So yeah, I'm thinking I'm going to do this. I've been praying for opportunities to do meaningful activities with my kids. And I'm pretty sure this counts as 'meaningful.' And as my daughters begin memorizing scripture - what a great way to bring in some talking points. {What do you think Jesus means when He says this? Have you seen any situations like that around you?}

Kids need to be at least 7 years old by November 5th, 2009.
You can sign your kids up between February 15th and April 31st.
A study guide comes out May 1st.
Local contest is September 12th.
National contest is November 5th-6th in Washington D.C.

Anybody else in?

Fashion Book

2009-02-08T10:34:00.000-08:00

K put together a 'fashion book' the other night. It was fashion from 'round the world. My fav... Miss Kentucky... I think it's the hair covering one eye that really sold me.

It's not stalking, it's a darn handshake.

2009-02-07T18:59:00.000-08:00

Alright. I'm fully entrenched in social media these days. Just thought I'd share a tid bit...

Out of Commission...

2009-02-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

...For a bit longer.

Stomach flu.

Project X: A Little Soothing Goes a Long Way

2009-01-31T22:46:00.001-08:00

There's much to say. To keep with my commitment to brevity, I'll share just a small piece now...

God has soo soothed my non chit-chatty soul. Job 2:13 says, "They sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was."

A little background here. You've likely heard the story of Job and his great sufferings. When his friends came to see him, it was their presence that soothed him-- not any words. They sat their for seven days and seven nights:: no words. No idle chit chat. Their words would have been futile and wrong anyway. (In fact proved to be so once they did actually start talking.) Nevertheless, they served as a comfort to Job in their silence because they were there, they were available. (This tid bit of insight came from Kay Warren's book, Dangerous Surrender.)

Perhaps I will have the opportunity to serve as a comfort to my neighbors through being available and present.

Perhaps.

Word.

2009-01-28T09:48:00.001-08:00

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see this word::

Perfect

You know if you say it enough times it starts looking/sounding weird? Hah! Take that - perfect.

Project X: Pre-Game Pep Talk

2009-01-27T18:50:00.000-08:00

I got myself all excited about Project X and then came crashing down into a pit of laziness, brownies... and a carb coma.

I'm feelin the need for a little pre-game pep talk... by way of Matthew McConaughey (from 'We Are Marshall')...

You're welcome ladies.

When you take that field today, you've got to lay that heart on the line, men. From the souls of your feet, with every ounce of blood you've got in your body, lay it on the line until the final whistle blows. And if you do that, if you do that, we cannot lose. We may be behind on the scoreboard at the end of the game but if you play like that we cannot be defeated... You understand me? How you play today, from this moment on is how you will be
remembered. This is your opportunity to rise from these ashes and grab glory.

I don't know about you, but I feel better.

Alright I'm kidding. I'm going into THE WORD to find my inspiration. For real.

Exhibit A

2009-01-26T13:04:00.000-08:00

Day to day things I gotta learn to let go of...
Exhibit A: We got pencils. Boy do we have pencils. Notice their tips. Why? Why are ALL the tips broken? And not a pencil sharpener in sight.The sepia tone does make my quandry a bit more romantic though, doesn't it?

Project X

2009-01-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

Name: Project 'X'. I didn't feel comfortable writing my street name, hence the X.

Mission: To build relationships on my street, effecting change through love; overcoming cultural barriers, my tendency to put God in a box... and to not presuppose I know what 'effecting change' looks like.

Known weaknesses:

I'm terrible at chit-chat. In fact, I have grown to realize I downright loathe it. I want to really know the person, learn about them-- bypass the 'niceties'. The problem with this is many people are only comfortable with chit chat. You can imagine the struggle here. When so many around me will need to small talk to increase their comfort level in talking - and then there's me - no good at chit-chat... Well, you get it.

I'm lazy about rising to God's challenges.

Known strengths:

I have amazing neighbors who also have a heart for this street, who are fab chit-chatters, who have taught me much about service, and are wisdom-filled.

I believe God means it when He says... "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9a

The Plan:

Plan A: Be available to my neighbors.

Plan B: Be available to my neighbors.

And finally Plan C: Be available to my neighbors.

Background: With my new job, I have been immersed into this online technology world and have begun to grasp the scope of what God can do, through technology, to spur on collaboration, encouragement, and accountability. While I also have these blessings in my day to day life, the possibilities of ideating and strategizing (to then implement in 'the real world') that could come from an online forum is amazing. (Hows about THAT grammar?)

Prayer:

I need strategy. Other than plans A, B, and C -- I need your strategic, ideating brains. How have you reached out to your community? Or how would you? What would be meaningful to you?

Increase the laborers... "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

That my heart would break for the hurt and darkness people around me are experiencing -- in the same way Jesus' heart breaks for these people.

"They did not conquer the land with their swords; it was not their own strength that gave them victory. It was by Your mighty power that they succeeded; it was because You favored them and smiled on them." Psalm 44:3 {Thank you, Dawn, for texting me this scripture this morning. This is my prayer.}

Accountability:

I am hoping posting this on my blog (and future updates) will hold me accountable. I may start out strong and have high ambitions and good intentions... but.... well...not always so great with the follow through. The problem is...

lives aren't changed with good intentions.

Will you help?

Picture by Indiewench from Flickr's Creative Commons

The Psychology of Questions

2009-01-24T08:17:00.000-08:00

This conversation is happening in my house a lot...

Lil K: Mom, can I {blank}?

Mom: No, sorry. (Assuming I'm saying 'no'... not just for the thrill of saying 'no,' but because it really isn't a good idea.)

Lil K: Why not?

Mom: Why do you think?

Lil K: Because if I did that I would {blankety blank blank}.

Mom: Exactly, lil K.

It's brilliant. Her answers are nine times out of ten better than mine anyway --- AND she is becoming a critical thinker, AND I get to affirm her in the process.

Ahhh... pscychology.

You got any tips out there for me?

Love Your Face

2009-01-23T11:57:00.000-08:00

The following is copied from my daughter's blog. I loved it. Had to share it.

Oh -- and 'basket lover' is my mom's blogger handle. If you visited her house - you'd get it.

:::::::::::

Puppy Face

This look is for basket lover- a puppy face.

This is a puppy face.:[]

I love basket lover. Many kisses love K xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

::::::::::::

Mom - a post just for you.

Submerged in The Long Road

2009-01-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

This is thee most amazing post I've read today.

You need to read it... especially the third paragraph.

I feel exactly the same way. Not for the same reason, but the same feelings none of the less... However, I could not have articulated these feelings as beautifully as my dear friend, Tess.

God:: may I always be uncomfortable... to put it mildly.

Gloriously ruined is more like it.

Martin Luther King Jr.

2009-01-19T08:02:00.000-08:00

These words spoken the day before Luther was assassinated.

Blank Space

2009-01-18T09:30:00.000-08:00

I didn't start school.

{Ahh, I agonized about how to begin this post. When in doubt - just put it out there.}

I was supposed to start two weeks ago.
Excitement was mounting.
Finances set.
Childcare a go.
Finally, I would get to finish my bachelors.
Well...
Not so much.

{Sigh}

The day before I was set to begin, I finally faced the reality that God's stamp of peace I have come to know had not accompanied this decision.

That day I called two good friends to find out their opinion of my school plans. Both of their responses were complete with the word- 'timing,' amid some other cross-overs in their thoughts.

Timing:: that word seems to be a theme lately.

Here I sit, two weeks later, in this seeming 'blank space' desperately trying not to rush to fill it, as that is my 'MO.'

And now, two weeks later I know... it's okay.

Psalm 32:8 :: I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Re-Reunion

2009-01-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

Last year was my ten year reunion.... Except, there was no reunion.

Turns out the guy voted in as class president was voted in for his people skilz... and not so much for his follow through....

Solution? Have the ten year reunion on the eleventh year.

Of course.

Eleven years ago...

My Heart is Tied Up in Hers

2009-01-11T17:50:00.000-08:00

My heart hurts, and today was a hard day because of it. It's Sunday. I used to internally tag Sunday's with the "Sunday blues." Then somewhere along the line, I'm not exactly sure when it happened, I no longer referred to Sundays in that way. They were good days. Rest days.

I didn't like that day of the week because it was, at least for everybody else... 'family day.' Slightly ironic that Sunday -- church day-- would be the worst of them all. But well, all that is generally gone. Yet every now and then a pesk of a day slams me. I know you relate.

For those of you new over here. Let me back up just a tad. I'm a single mom. It's been that way for a little over two and a half years now. I hate to write that as if it's a disclaimer... or an asterisk or something... but, it is part of my story and my experiences, and this post may not make sense if you didn't know that.

The kids end up being the ones that pay the most when there is a divorce. Such things are so unfair in life. Mom or Dad can move on, or pretend to, (most times too quickly) to assuage their loneliness. This is what I do know. I can pray for my kids. And pray I do.

Have you ever gotten more than you bargained for out of a prayer? Now enters my bleeding heart. Over these past couple of years there are two things I have prayed specifically for my eldest, who is eight years old.

She would have a supernatural discernment of truth (Is that redundant?) concerning our particular situation.
That wisdom would be her sister and understanding her intimate friend.

How does one adequately comfort an eight year old who has such a discerning nature? Truth can be an ugly thing. Part of me wishes back her ignorance. In fact, a well-intentioned friend noticed K's acute perceptiveness and thought perhaps I should have added the disclaimer in my prayer -- "to an age-appropriate level."

For a minute I panicked until I realized the ridiculous of that statement. As if I need to give disclaimers to God. Like he needs to be aware of K's age so as not to give her too much perceptiveness/ understanding...

I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the good I already see coming out of this. The directed questions K asks me about the divorce and about her role in it have allowed me to shed truth into her brain that may have gone unnoticed for years. (Something I can say from experience.)

As beneficial as all these things are, it is hard and it is draining! So I guess that's where I'm at tonight... drained. I don't have all the answers to her questions. Yet I am grateful she still has questions.

Today, is certainly not the first day of these sorts of talks with K and I hope not the last. I trust I'll have enough energy for the next one.

*******

Bleeding heart pic from Flickr's creative commons by photogirl7

Link Luvin

2009-01-10T18:57:00.000-08:00

Domestic Diva.... Not!

Meet Jamie. She's pretty new to the blogging world.

I couldn't copy her family picture off her site, hence the empty picture frame. And I HAD to have a visual of some sort. (Well, that and I saw an empty picture frame at Lisa's house the other day and I logged it in my brain as something I liked.)

Her posts are honest and witty.

I like her. I think you might too.

PLUS, her fav movies are You've Got Mail and The Notebook. I mean, really, what more do you need to know?

Go on and check her out -- Domestic Diva... Not!

*Photo compliments of Flickr's Creative Commons by Jo Jakeman

Think. Think. Think.

2009-01-07T17:00:00.000-08:00

I have this hoody.
It's, like, 8 years old.
I looove it.
Will never get rid of it.
Except... I can't find it.
{Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in...}
Think. Think. Think.
If I were a hoody where would I be?
Somewhere unconventional...
Not in the hamper...
Not on the floor...

Think. Think. Think.

Parenting Update

2009-01-07T12:05:00.000-08:00

K: Mom, can I show you something I did?

Me: Okay....

K: {Takes me to her room, way back in the corner, a little wedged space where she can crawl behind her bed.} I wrote on the furniture... back here where nobody can see it.

Me: When?

K: Well, it was before...

Me: Before what?

K: You know, before things started 'changing.' (said long and slow) I wouldn't do that kinda thing now.

Ah, sweet victory... My kids are now perfect.

Okay, not really...
But a girl can dream...

Doubt

2009-01-06T08:08:00.001-08:00

I think I've written three posts over the last two days... all of which shall end up in 'draft-dom' forever. It's one of those I know I will regret it if I post this kinda thing...

Since I have nothing more, I think I'll steal someone else's good words...

Whenever there is doubt - don't. -Oswald Chambers

From the Ground Up

2009-01-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

For those of you who know my girl, Lisa --- Go. Check. Out. Her New. Blog.

Seriously.

If you don't know her. Go check her out anyway.

Lisa does a great job of giving her blog real purpose. Something I've been grappling with for my own blog as of late.

She's got BIG heart and it looks like she'll be showing us that. Her subtitle says, "...a time to tear down and a time to build..." Ecc. 3:3 Which one of us women (or men) can relate to that? Yeah, yeahp, me too.

I don't know what it is about 2009 that already has me in goosebumps...

And Lisa, I certainly don't think you're frumpy in any way shape or form.

Much love for ya.

Year Two Thousand and Nine

2009-01-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

Unintentionally, the start of 2009 is the start of lots of other changes as well. Here's an update...

I graduated the local community college in December and am moving on to finish my bachelors (in business) at a private college.
I said good-bye to the small group for single moms I've been leading for the past year. (sniff sniff) I can no longer continue leading with the evening schedule of school. I've learned a lot from these ladies --- but that's a whole other post.
I started a new job! Marketing coordinator for 360hubs! I work from home, part-time. I love it!
I hadn't been able to blog much because of my computer --- my daughter has been able to blog even less. However, that's been able to change. Check her out!
Real good books I read over the Christmas break --- The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence and Crazy Love by Francis Chan.
Started reading the Bible in a year. Cool calendar for it here.
I can't get enough of God. There. I said it. I think He IS good ALL the time. He's shown me when situations SUCK, HE doesn't. I don't care if it sounds churchy. Each bullet point, I've been holding that in. AND...

Hitherto, henceforth, such as, such is and as it were, ever in my optimism.... I'm looking forward to two thousand and nine.

Yeah!

2008-12-31T13:55:00.001-08:00

My computer is working!

AND it doesn't think it's 1970 anymore!

AND it's all nice and fast!

AND I have a working printer!

I had no idea how wonderful it was to be in the 21st century. (Almost 9 years into it...)

I think I'll celebrate... tonight.

Oh AND...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

It's Christmas!

2008-12-25T14:14:00.000-08:00

Turns out my computer thinks it's 1970.

No seriously. My computer problems may drive me to therapy.

And such is the reason for my delay in blogging. Blogger won't post to my page in 1970... I can't just go in and change the date because it requires an authorized password that I don't have, and apparently nobody knows.

I'm working on changing it, I need help from the IT peeps. In the meantime I'm blogging from my sister's computer...

~~~~~~~~~~~

With that...

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

From me and mine.

For Random's Sake

2008-12-18T07:15:00.001-08:00

How long do you think a spider can go without food?

This little guy has been caught in the dash of my car for a good five days now.

Sorry about the blurry pic-- do you see lil spidey? To the right of the 'L'?

Notice my 'ABS' light is on? It's a good indicator to my life, actually.

Where most people just need to slam on the brake quickly - I must pump the brakes so they don't lock up.

Most things in my house are broken--- in some way.

Not enough so they don't work entirely - just enough to evoke frustration and expletives when my kids aren't around.

Objective 6: Again... but Expanded...

2008-12-16T05:42:00.000-08:00

An interesting, extraordinary thing happened during these past two weeks. An indirect 'victory' while changing up the discipline with my oldest daughter.

This content could get way too personal concerning her, so I'll be a little vague. Of course, I'll gladly talk about it in person -- but just in case anybody creepy is reading this -- I like to keep some of the more personal details out.

Being that K is a girl... she has started early on the art of using emotion to control a situation. (You know, like the wife who cries because the fight isn't going her way... or the silent treatment? Ah hem... I was never one of those - I don't know where she gets it.) It is complete and total manipulation.

Ahh now, but let me go back before I move forward. Just for a few sentences...

K has had to deal with recent changes in her life that have, unfortunately, been out of my control. I'd say it all started about three months ago... 'These changes' have interrupted her balance of 'stability' and 'safety'. Can you hear my heart break? All I want for this kid is stability and safety. Of course, too many of us adults these days have had to learn that stability and safety, as a feeling through circumstances, is all a facade anyway. God is the only solid foundation. That doesn't mean I go traipsing around like an idiot (yes, I just wrote idiot) because only God can provide her a solid foundation. It means I recognize what part is my responsibility, and what part is not, and let that go. (Or at least try and let that go.)

In her meager, 8 year old attempts, to 'control' what is going on, she cries before church (and during)... begs me to pick her up immediately after church is over - asking me to assure her that I will not sit and chit chat with friends, I will not pass 'go' to collect my $200 - I. Will. Come. Straight. To. Her. (Oh how I want to share more -- this example will have to do.)

If you get to the core of the disciplinary techniques in Dr. Kevin Leman's book I have been writing about, it's all about not letting children control the adult through tantrums, silent treatment, misbehavior, etc. All of these various emotions being used to control the adult. Key word -- control. An ugly word. A word that I am gaining a better perspective of this year. A word that ultimately tries to usurp authority... we adults understand this, yes?

Since I am a fan of brevity, I wish to bring this to a close. The various emotional issues that have been going on with K are almost completely gone! I have not even directly addressed them! However, by addressing the manipulation through emotion in almost all other aspects of her life, she has found that manipulating will not fly. She has actually done things instead, like come up to me, give me a hug, and simply tell me, "Mom, I need some attention right now." And to this - I gladly give.

Amazing.

Objective 6: Final Thoughts

2008-12-15T04:42:00.000-08:00

The final days of this little experiment have not, in truth, been the final days of the experiment. That is partly my fault because I let up a bit last weekend. In all honestly, I should not have taken my girls to my mom's house last Sunday, but I knew they would be disappointed, I would be disappointed, my mom would be disappointed, my sister.... you get it.

The reason I should not have taken them was because of their behavior that morning. I ended up getting angry, telling them multiple times what to do... blah, blah, blah.

Here's the good news. There's grace. I will likely mess up again. I can always backtrack, apologize (if I sinned in my anger), and keep on going.

Here are some of my final thoughts:

This works. My younger daughter, while I did not focus on her, has been dreamy. I tell her to do something once, and she does it. For real! She is proud of herself for what she accomplishes on her own and has a sense of responsibility. Now for my older daughter, who wouldn't go down without a fight, has finally come to terms with it all. When punishment comes around (as this will continue) she knows exactly what happened and why and doesn't question it.
For homeschoolers. An effective tactic I learned is when your kid is 'doddling' in their work, they lose break time. K was independently working on writing, when I went to check on her, she was actually laying down instead. (This was all part of the power struggle.) I said nothing and when break time came around, I told her, "Sorry K, there's no break time today." (She knew why.)
A tip from Dr. Kevin Leman that has worked mah-velously... When kids are fighting in the car, first turn up the volume of music. If that doesn't work, pull over - get out of the car, stretch... walk around the car... go through the trunk... or whatever. After a minute open your door to the car again. Ask if it's safe to come in, and can we now continue driving. Worked like a charm. My kids didn't know what was going on. Beautiful.
I feel like I am more in control, and am more confident in my parenting because I know I am shaping their character... in a good way.
I actually have one more final thought that I will expand upon tomorrow. I want to take the time to expand on it because indirectly, it is related to this book, and has taken me by surprise.

Blogging this has been therapeutic. I didn't feel so alone in it. Thank you for the encouraging comments, they helped keep me going! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One final - til tomorrow.

Objective 5: Victory is in Your Future

2008-12-12T06:38:00.000-08:00

Day 2 looked a little different for our family. It was fairly uneventful. K goes to a charter school one day a week and day 2 happened to fall on this day.

Target Behavior: She did not listen after the first time I asked her to get ready that morning.

Outcome: We generally take a trip to the library after I pick her up from the charter school... but not this day. I calmly said, We will not be going to the library today. (A serious blow to these kids!)

There was no fighting. In fact, it was completely silent in the backseat of the car when I delivered this news. K didn't even show she was upset. She was clearly pensive the entire day... and could not believe this was continuing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Day 3 Some much needed pieces of victory reared their head. Well, kind of.

K woke up, got dressed, hair and teeth brushed, sitting ready at the breakfast table. (This was the victory part.)

The fight was not over yet, though.

At promptly 8:00 I asked her to meet me in the office/homeschool room so we could begin school. She didn't come. She opted to go play in her room. An hour later I withheld snack again. Here's how she reacted...

What? I'm losing snack again? Why? Because I didn't go start school? Okay, I'll go start my school work. She walks in the homeschool room, shuts the doors and pulls out her math book to begin working. (Sidenote - math being the worst of the worst for Kyndall - this was an interesting turn of events.)

She exits the room twenty minutes later boasting three pages of math done! I go to check her work. Honestly, I'm a little impressed that she went to go work on math all by herself - and beyond that, she did three pages alone. But, well... the manipulator in her was still at work. She had gone back to math pages from the beginning of the year that we had skipped because it was too easy for her and those are the pages she worked on. Part of me desperately wanted to give it to her (it being, priveledges) -- I was being lazy and didn't want to fight anymore.

Two posts back I had talked about running to a serious, long-winded quiet time with God (although nothing about it was quiet). Here's one of the things I wrote down that night. And good thing too, because this took me through Day 3...

Partial obedience is still disobedience.

She was still playing the system. And well, I'm the system. The rest of day 3 went remarkably well. Then came the weekend.... Here's a word to the wise -- start this on a Monday - not a Wednesday, like me -- having the regular week schedule makes it much easier to implement.

I faltered in this over the weekend and had to do some back pedaling by Monday...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More to come. Possibly after the weekend. :)

Objective 4: Holding Ground

2008-12-11T06:19:00.000-08:00

I was unprepared to say the least about the lengths my oldest daughter would go to try and regain power. Especially because she is my 'pleaser' child. I fully expected a bigger fight from lil K. In no particular order... here are some of the strategies my daughter used to try and thwart my plan.

A full on fit. Yes, my 8 year old daughter had a screaming fit on the floor. Let me tell you I haven't seen her have a fit since she was three! Unsettling to say the least. (I remained calm, and didn't budge on my plan.)
Spouts of uncontrollable, inconsolable crying.
The crying stopped, and she moved on to new strategies -- the most scary of all.
She walked in the office, in good spirits, and said with a bit of a bounce in her voice, "Mom, I'm okay you've taken those things away from me. It doesn't bother me at all." (Okay sweetheart.) "So Mom, I think that you should try and take something else away that will really hurt me, because I'm not bothered at all." (No sweetheart, I'm sticking with this.) She walks away and comes back... "Okay Mom, not really, I am bothered! This isn't fair. Why are you doing this to me! I thought you would never change!!" (I love you sweetheart....)
She frantically began looking for my 'new' book she knew I had been recently reading (Dr. Leman's book) to throw it out.
Her final action to unnerve me... She runs into the office and says with an exasperated happiness -- "Mom! Mom! Come look in the front room. You've got to see what I've done!! You'll be sooo excited." (I walk in the room, actually, gullibly expecting to be excited and this is what I see...

The coffee table turned on its side, the furniture moved to the center of the room, silk plants upside down, chairs turned over. I'm not joking, people!! Let me also tell you how completely out of character this is! I wanted to cry. My kid just ransacked my front room. I wanted my old daughter back, I was about to quit. I didn't. I'm glad. I simply said, "I'm setting the timer for five minutes, when it goes off this needs to be cleaned up." And walked away. At four minutes and fifteen seconds - all was back to normal in the front room.
This was just Day 1.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come. Tomorrow.

Objective 3: Implementation

2008-12-10T05:32:00.000-08:00

{I'm sorry about the delay in posting -- my computer is A PIECE! -- Alright, that's all I'm gonna say 'bout that.}

Day 1 of Implementation sent me into the throws of a very serious quiet time with God by the end of the day. It was a good thing I was warned by Dr. Leman that it gets worse before it gets better. I was prepared -- or so I thought. My house turned into something straight out of Nanny 911 last Wednesday.

The Gist: Basically implementation looks something like this...

Say it once.
Turn your back.
Walk away.

Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. Do you know how hard it was for me to say something just once? Once and only once. I mean, my darling little children must have forgotten, right? If children do not follow through - then without reminding, yelling, threatening, cajoling -- or any other fun verb -- when they want, say, snack, two hours later - you simply say, I won't be serving you snack today. Turn your back. Walk away.

Of course they will yell, threaten, cajole, and whatever fun verb they think of trying to figure out what just changed. You calmly continue to say, I won't be serving you snack today. Turn your back. Walk away.

*Note - For the younger children, when they come back to ask why you won't be serving snack -- you take that teachable moment to tell them why. (They did not do 'A'... so 'B' does not happen.) For the older children, it's funner and works better if they have to figure out for themselves why they lost 'snack'. I honestly didn't think my oldest daughter would get it. Boy was I underestimating her...

Target Behavior: I've focused on my older daughter getting ready in the morning and beginning her school - on her own without me harrassing her AND without an attitude.

Scenario 1: I asked my daughter to do the above target things and she didn't listen to any of them the first time I asked her. Of course this is not surprising because I generally tell her more than once. This time I continued on with my day. I cleaned. I walked around the house... 'happy' minding my own business. (Sidenote - We actually ended up not doing any schoolwork this entire day. The type A personality in me began twitching at this prospect - but I decided her character was more important.)

Snack time comes around and I am in full blown strategy mode. I tell her no snack today. K doesn't know what hit her at this point.

Scenario 2: The neighborhood kids who are home during the day come over and want to play... and I inform K she will not be playing with neighborhood kids that day.

By the time K gets this information - she is fuming!! I'm thinking to myself she has no idea why she is in trouble. I'm doubting Dr. Kevin Leman at this point but I continue on. Let me tell you what I learned...

My kids have been PLAYING me!!

Hours later... do you know that K finally came out and told me what I had asked her to do that morning and she continued to confess she did not listen? Can you believe it? Hours later she knew exactly what she was supposed to do -- and exactly why she was losing priveledges!

K did not acquiese without a fight, though. She was losing power and did not like it one bit...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More to come. Tomorrow. (Seriously - because I am going to write it this very moment and set to post tomorrow.)

Objective 2: Diagnose the Problem

2008-12-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

First off, let me give props to the book I read (surprise, surprise) that became the point of inspiration... Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman...

I'll admit my trepidation of the title... I mean, really? By Friday? In 5 days? I'm a 'slow and steady wins the race' kinda girl myself. And yet, I may be becoming a believer --- these past two days have been a pretty wild roller coaster... but not to get ahead of myself.

Unsuspecting Variant #1 : K, 8 year old, oldest daughter.

Unsuspecting Variant #2 : Lil k, 4 year old, youngest daughter. (However, to make for easier reading on this blog, I'm focusing on my older daughter, who quite frankly, has made this experiment the most interesting.)

Diagnoses: I'm noticing a heart issue arise with my daughter. First, she regularly does not listen the first time I tell her to do something and second, when she does, it is with an attitude. --- Now before you tell me, "April, that's ALL kids!" (To which I would reply you should read this book...) Let me say that character in our children is more important than math, reading, test scores, science, etc., etc. It is THEE thing we are accountable to God for with our kids. A bad attitude is the result of a bad heart attitude (character issue) that needs to be addressed.

P.S. : I have found out more about myself (unintentionally) in this process and a tendency I have fallen into of wanting my kids to be happy. Let me tell you how this surprises me. I don't have a problem taking away priveledges... but I realized there is a ceiling of unhappiness that I'm comfortable with and I have not wanted to push past that ceiling. My kids have been through more than kids should have to go through and I confess I want to make that better.

P.P.S. : One of the issues is that I don't always follow through on what I say. For example, when I'm at a friend's house and I tell my girls we are leaving in five minutes -- which turns into twenty -- because I'm chit chatting. Why would I expect them to do something in five minutes at home? (Also, I said I would post this on Thursday... and here it is Friday.)

Next post... Implementation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

More to come. Soon. :)

Objective 1: Overview

2008-12-03T13:44:00.001-08:00

This post comes on the heels of the parenting post, posing the question of pros/cons of a reward system for kids. This will begin a series of posts over the next week or so as my plan, unbeknownst to my children, unfolds. (Muahahahaha)

I have been in need of some 'tweaking' when it comes to my parenting. By the by, this is not a self-deprecating post... I have done a lot of things well as a parent to be sure. My kids do not have major behavioral problems or anything of that sort. I have, however, cued into some areas where my kids are lacking character.

I think I tend to be more of an authoritative parent, with some permissive tendencies. (That right there ought to be confusion enough for any kid.) I never would have thought this about me. I was sure I was right down the road between the two -- (authoritative and permissive) and towing the line quite nicely as "authoritarian/ responsible."

As the ugly aftermath of divorce never seems to go away. I find I try to overcompensate for their Dad - which of course I can not do. Irritating thing about this is - I know better than that. I've heard those types of stories and read enough books to know better. Yet, experience prevails once again so that my 'head knowledge' moves from what sounds good to action.

I implemented a plan today and can't even begin to tell you what has been happening in my home. (Although I'll try-- tomorrow.)

No, the story is not how great they are. Frankly, today is a nightmare. I'm banking on the fact it gets worse before it gets better. As my kids desperately try and regain lost ground, they are pulling out all the stops... and these kids, well, they're smart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More to come. Tomorrow.

Yesterday

2008-12-02T19:01:00.001-08:00

As I was encouraging my daughter to use a word other than nice in her writing project, she responded with...

Okay, mom. What about amiable?

Uh... okay, yeah--- amiable will work just fine. (???!!!)

Thanksgiving!

2008-11-28T15:58:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, I didn't get to spend Thanksgiving with my kiddos...

Fortunately, I got to hang out with my sister and brother (among others) and we filled in the 'immaturity' quota that was missing from my kiddos -- here, take a look...

Question Moms... (Or anybody, really)

2008-11-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

How do you move the reward from extrinsic to intrinsic with your kids? Do you not do the extrinsic (reward charts, etc.) so the feeling of accomplishing a task is reward enough from the get-go? And if you did rely on extrinsic rewards, have you successfully been able to remove them?

I've been thinking about how God does this with us... The reward system changes as we move forward in our faith, don't you think? Of course there is always joy that accompanies a walk with God but at some point we move from our walk being an excitement about ourselves and what God does for us (extrinsic) to what we can do for Him (intrinsic). (And then if you're like me, you regress often. Let me also say there's nothing wrong with getting excited about what He's doing. We should get excited!) Anyway, I'm trying to figure out if I can transfer any of God's brilliance in dealing with us to how I deal with my kids.

After all my parenthetical disclaimers - does this make any sense? And maybe I'm completely off here. Anybody have any thoughts?

Ahhhh -- I'm overthinking this, aren't I...

Why I Love Monday... On Tuesday

2008-11-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

K goes to piano lessons on Mondays at Mrs. Ivy's, house. For thirty minutes straight I get to read whatever I want and drink a cup of coffee that Mrs. Ivy has waiting for me while my younger daughter plays in Mrs. Ivy's backyard with the bunny... aptly named, 'Bunny.' Good stuff.

tech'NO'logy

2008-11-24T07:39:00.000-08:00

My computer is working when it feels like it. I haven't been able to email after 3:00pm. I can't always get on my page to blog. Until recently, I couldn't comment on facebook - which was really killing me.

My DVD player randomnly turns off and on. The other night I woke up to my daughter's grammar jingles... 'This little noun, floating around, names a person, place, or thing.' Mind you, this was at 1:00 in the AM - THAT is creepy. Not to mention at that time of night I have no inhibitions and felt behind the DVD player and just began pulling out cords - any and all cords.

I've had to buy umpteen cell phone chargers. (Yes, umpteen is a number -- somewhere between 12 and 13 I think.)

Fortunately, my ipod is working. If I were a conspiracy theorist -- I wouldn't even mention it, for fear of the ipod's safety.

BUT, I'm an optimist. On the positive side, my girls and I played 'Memory' last night and then I read them a book (since sans-technology). Plus, I'm desperately figuring out how to get a new laptop. Hopefully my blog posts won't be so few and far between!

Thanks for reading!

I Wuv You

2008-11-19T07:35:00.000-08:00

I rarely read forwards. Every so often one catches my eye enough for me to read it the whole way through. When asked what love is, here's what Billy, age 4, says...

When somebody loves you, the way they say your name is different, you just know that your name is safe in their mouth.
Well said, Billy.

A Conundrum...

2008-11-13T07:12:00.001-08:00

Lil K - Mom, I want a husband when I'm grown.

Ok...

Lil K - That way I can have 27 kids...

Ok...

Lil K - But first - don't you think I need to get my ears pierced?

Game On!

2008-11-12T07:07:00.000-08:00

It appears I have finally gotten my diet in check! It took a while to figure out what was going on with me, and the fatigue I was experiencing was causing me to fall behind in all sorts of areas. And THAT was leading to a bit of a depression. Yuck.

Since last Thursday, I have taken carbs out of my diet. I know- an extreme measure. The difference in my energy level from Wednesday to Thursday was so huge- I simply can't ignore it. I have spent the past week catching up on life. I am happy to say I am now ahead in my classwork, my house is looking a lot better (happy sigh), and I even woke up at 5:00am this morning to do some writing for something I'm doing in December! Yah! Life! Is! Good!

Other than grieving the loss of Jack-in-the-Box tacos (with the mystery meat that I LOOOVE)... I have determined having energy is worth way more than carbs any day.

Also, I've experimented with fruits, and I seem to still be okay eating fruit. Good thing, too --- how sad would THAT be?

All that said, my unintended blogging hiatus is off.

Game on.

An UPdate

2008-11-03T16:57:00.000-08:00

A tidbit of change since a few posts back...

My school of choice is back on... as of today. (Things change so quickly around here I thought I ought to leave the 'today' disclaimer.)
Other than that - every other major area of my life is still up in the air which means everything may change - or nothing.

And around the house...

Apparently my oldest daughter is self punishing as she approached me today telling me I can wash her mouth out with soap because she confesses--- she ate the rest of my pumpkin pie. (A serious offense, for sure!)
I am a recovering self punisher so... I get it. :)

Advice Welcome!

2008-10-29T16:54:00.000-07:00

I am without energy... zeal. Come 10:30 or 11:00am --- I'm crashing.

This crashing thing so early in the day is new for me and I can't go on like this forever. It's time for a change in my diet. Real great time for that with Halloween on Friday, holidays around the corner. I tend to be seasonally challenged anyway... eating soups in the summer, salads in the winter, etc. I might as well change eating habits during the holidays.

I'm just not sure what will work for me. Where protein only in the mornings used to be key, it's not working anymore. Any ideas? Specifically for the mornings? What do you eat for breakfast? (And for facebookers - chocolate cake in the morning is not my norm!)

Prelude to Friday...

2008-10-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

Lil K (left) and K's pumpkins. :)

We're on to roast pumpkin seeds!

Sidenote... If you put petroleum jelly on the carved areas of your pumpkin, it should help retain its moisture and won't get all shriveled-like... for a little while anyway.

Introducing...

2008-10-26T15:24:00.001-07:00

...K!

My oldest daughter has started a blog... aptly named, Mann Girls Rule: God, friends, sleeping, daydreaming, and stuff.

It is private for obvious reasons. However, if you are interested in checking it out, let me know. :)

The Plan

2008-10-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

My great life plan was thwarted in the last two days...

What I do know: I do know that while I have dreams, God's dreams for me are bigger and better--- that includes the station of life I'm in right now, which may not look bigger and better to the average Joe, yet I know if I'd had my way a few years ago (and then a few years before that) life would not be the same today. And THAT would be sad.

What I don't know: I don't know what my life will look like in a year. Course I can't say I ever really knew this, but at least I had a plan. I am finishing out my degree at the local JC this semester and had planned on transfering to a university for my bachelors in January. (This being an important ingredient to getting a decent job to take care of my girls.)

What I do know: It looks like I cannot start school in January (but ya'all can pray about that :) ). This means I'd likely have to wait til fall which I may opt out of because I'll have to start working next fall as well. I like to keep stressful adjustments to a minimum for my kiddos.

What I don't know: How I'm going to support my family.

What I do know: I'm not entitled to the things I once claimed some entitlement to--- ie. The American dream. None the less, God often blesses me with undeserving 'extras'...

What I don't know: Why it always feels like I'm standing on a precipice where one wrong move will send me careening down some deathly cliff... when experience tells me it's not a precipice, but a low-grade, rocky, slope that will show itself in due time.

What I do know: I'm terribly disappointed, I'd be lying if I said otherwise. And I'd be further perpetuating that lie if I told you I dealt with that disappointment gracefully today.

What else I know: God is good. It's pretty much the only thing I can count on.

Dream

2008-10-21T07:05:00.000-07:00

At various points in my life, when I venture into something new, I have dreams about it. When I started high school, I had dreams of not being able to get everything done. When I became a server at Claim Jumper, I would dream that I was the only server in the building and the hostess sat all 60 tables, and it was just me desperately trying to take all the orders.

Last night I had another dream... about leadership. A little weird, since leading in the small group capacity is not new to me. None the less, it was quite an interesting dream. No need to psychoanalyze me... I realize all my dreams have to do with a fear of incompetence, not being able to handle the job ahead of me... and an underlying theme of lack of control. There, I did it for you.

I had completely forgotten I had to be at my small group this particular night until minutes before it began. I got in my car and headed over to group. Upon realizing how unprepared I actually was, I started to freak out. Once I got there, my group of women had grown to over 30 people--- and I did not recognize one face. They all had three kids, of which, of course, all needed childcare and all 30 stared at me silently - waiting for me to say something deep and insightful. I told them to hang on for a moment and that I would be right back. I got into my car and started to drive away. I was filled with anxiety, desperately looking to figure out how to quickly prepare for all these women... return to them with peace of mind, clarity, and confidence. Sometime later, I found myself sitting in front of the nearby community college. I texted my co-leader and told her I was in Tokyo... except I kept spelling it T-o-y-k-o and was completely aggravated because I couldn't even spell correctly - I couldn't do anything right!! (Keep in mind, in my dream, I really thought I was in Tokyo and at the same time at the community college near my house.) I got out of the car and went into the computer lab at the school to try and use their computer to get a message to the women that I was now in Tokyo (spelled correctly) and would not make it. I was unable to use THAT computer because I did not have the correct password. (Again, not able to do what I felt I needed to do.) I walked out of the school and marched straight into Kinko's - which apparently was right next door... my next attempt at getting a message to the women. 'I am in Tokyo. Stop. I will not make it to group. Stop. I've lost my ability to text. Stop.' Because of more technical difficulties, my debit card did not work. I. Could. Not. Deliver. My. Message. Frustration mounting, I needed a new plan...

And then I woke up...

In real life --- there's no end to the story.

Water Eyes

2008-10-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

At 5:45 in the AM little K comes into my cozy, dark, room and says, "Mommy, I'm gonna turn on the light... but make sure you don't look at the light or you'll get 'water eyes'"...

Nothing to Blog - And Then...

2008-10-17T18:41:00.000-07:00

K was a teensy weensy bit angry at her little sister tonight. Notice the steam coming out her ears, the snake-like eyes, evil eyebrows, curled fists, and apparently one's teeth turn jagged when you're really, really mad. (Notice also the ".......'s" under her written words .... I wonder where she gets that from...)

What a Deal

2008-10-16T06:40:00.000-07:00

I love the Clorox bleach pen. It saved my dress... which I can now wear to a wedding on Saturday... which saved me the cost of a new dress... which then saved me the cost of new shoes to adorn the new dress... which saved me the cost of new jewelry to compliment the new shoes to go with my new dress...

And ALL that for only $2.79!

Those Really Nagging Thoughts Life's Made Of

2008-10-15T16:28:00.000-07:00

My sister is moving back home! Yippee! Which means we get to ponder more questions like this...

How come you play a CD in a CD player... a DVD in a DVD player... but you play a VHS in a VCR?

See how fun our conversations are? I love my sister. :)

Highlight of my Week

2008-10-11T11:06:00.000-07:00

Thursday night, the girls and I got home a tad late. I got lil K ready for bed, tucked her in- she likes to be wrapped up like a "baby burrito". I walk out to the front room to see K completely entranced in her book. Instead of getting her into bed, I grabbed my book, sat down next to her... and we read our books together.

Nothing could have warmed my heart more. :)

My Reality

2008-10-03T20:35:00.000-07:00

Amy over at Humble Musings - a blog I've been following as of late that I love, love - posted some interesting thoughts today. ..

What use is having a message...when your delivery obscures your content?
It’s better to practice disarming people in a genuine way, because you really care about them, than to be right first and foremost, life and death matters notwithstanding. I’m thinking here of marital arguments and the inevitable hurt feelings that accompany every female friendship. It’s not a technique to win your point, rather, a missing ingredient that should’ve been there all along—love for our
brother, the second greatest commandment.

I do have a message... one that I believe is worth sharing. And yet - I have watched myself, time and again, with self-righteous indignance belittle others' thoughts, etc. Mirrors are difficult things to look into, particularly when the reflection is your soul. After having looked into mine, my eyes all squinty, face grimacing, I wonder why I have managed to keep any semblance of favor with anybody.

Over the course of the last two years or so, God has been lovingly (leads by example) showing me these pitfalls of pride. In this process, I can confidently say, I am learning what not to say. The problem is... I'm still not sure what to replace it with. (Exactly how do I "sprinkle with salt"... and a "how-to" manual would be nice.) Sometimes, like Regal Cinemas spouts, silence is golden. And yet, I know that is not always the answer.

It prompts me to wonder, even though I am learning to tame my tongue... perhaps I don't always bring my message in love... because, too often, love is not the condition of my heart.

Ouch.

Diet Coke (AKA Devil in Disguise)

2008-10-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday I took my last drink of the sweet syrupy addiction I've had since I was a kid... Diet Coke. (Addendum- Okay, I actually also had a diet coke on Monday... but that's because I've been sick... and there's something about being sick and drinking a coke... so I'm not counting Monday.)

So last Wednesday was my last diet coke.

Every night about 5:45 - a headache ensues.

Followed by intense hungar.

Followed by hugging myself and rocking back and forth.

Alright, I'm kidding on that last part...

In all seriousness though, it's messed me up in the head. Any substance that has had this kind of control on me has got to go! There is a plus to all this. I feel skinnier. (Note- I am not skinnier... I feel skinnier.)

Craft

2008-10-01T15:21:00.001-07:00

I completely botched my kiddo's craft today. Simple craft... water, pieces of tissue paper, white paper, and a black permanent marker. (A fall craft of sorts.) Shouldn't be any problem right? Sigh. I kept "improvising"... Kids - forget the tissue paper, we'll do such and such instead.

I keep thinking I should start a blog titled, "Almost a homemaker"...

This craft would have been a perfect example.

Ah well.

Disclaimer... I hope this doesn't read like a "poor sad April" post... I like these little quirks about me. :)

Economics

2008-09-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

Is everybody glued to their respective news sources these days? I don't have cable - so mine is on the internet...

While talking to my mom yesterday, I asked her if it turned out we all had to hunker down in a house somewhere on a farm growing our own food, making our own clothes (which I actually wouldn't mind doing)... could I start calling her Mary-Ellen and my (step) dad John-boy?

Come to think of it - I don't think she answered me. Hmmm.

Library

2008-09-25T17:29:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad my daughter has learned to ask the librarian where various topics are found in the library... The topic of choice for today?

Organized crime.

Is It Over Yet?

2008-09-24T14:09:00.001-07:00

[edited]

This has been a rough year. Ahhh, I feel better just saying that. I actually just acknowledged this aloud yesterday. (Preceeded by a rough year and a half before that... uck. Actually rough is a gross understatement.) Lots of times this year I wanted to blog about this or that - unfortunately, my particular trials would be horribly inappropriate to blog about.

But you know, even being a hard year, there are good things. I mean if everything were really hard, all the time, never changed up with a good laugh or blessing of some sort - I might actually go crazy.

And, well, I'm not crazy.

I gotta tell ya, I'm lookin forward to a new season of life. Of course, this season will, inevitably have its own trials. Even so... if only I could figure out a way to move myself quickly and efficiently into this new period... Hmmm.

When I get there, I might decide to assume the fetal position and cry for a good week.

...til then.

Germ (non)Sense

2008-09-22T09:59:00.001-07:00

You walk through automatic doors into the bathroom.

You nudge open the bathroom stall door with your shoulder.

You even use tissue to reopen the bathroom stall door on your way out.

There's water that flows automatically by a wave of your hand.

And the soap does the same.

And then ladies...

And then.

At some point... you touch your purse.

Muahahahaha - all precautions for naught.

While we're on the subject. Here's a pic of a "green" bathroom at a nearby paleontology center. They actually offered a half flush.

Disclaimer - All sorts of necessary germ-fighting precautions were taken to retrieve the camera from my purse for this picture...